I pause on this and wonder. I wonder at our assumption of peace in the wake of the massacre at Sutherland Springs. I wonder at what we consider peace while parts of the world burn, and at the non-peace of those without homes after the devastation of the hurricanes. I wonder at those of us who fight, even within, or maybe especially within, our families for an extra portion, a special place or even an inheritance.
As for running, I wonder at our race towards advent and the Christmas season, to decorate, to buy gifts to prepare food, to think of everyone and leave no-one out. And still, where is peace, what is the race we should run, who am I in God's plan?
Today, I was late for first church services and so, elected not to teach children's church but to participate in second church services. Today, I spoke with the worship and fellowship committee about children's church. I told them I would not be available for the early part of next year. Today I cooked brisket and potted Amaryllis for Christmas gatherings. Today, I lost a cap on a tooth and cannot eat candy or anything really. Today I am sad. I am sad for our nation. I am sad for our veterans who struggle with illnesses and memories, most of us can't imagine. I am sad to give up children's church. I am sad because in our tiny church and churches throughout the nation we are preparing for horror, strengthening security and assuaging worries, instead of worshiping in the freedom our forefathers declared and our veterans fought for.
I understand the need to use our minds and God given logic to prepare and strengthen ourselves, but there is no man-made defense against unmitigated evil. There is God alone.
I am sad just now, but I am racing walkers, not even runners. I will put my trust in God and perhaps the horses and I shall soon play. That's all for now.
Happy writing, happy reading and happy trails.
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